You see me mowin' my front lawn
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so
White and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy
I wanna roll with the gangstas
But so far they all think I'm too
White and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
Really, really white and nerdy
First in my class here at MIT
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
M.C. Escher, that's my favorite M.C.
Keep you're 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You'll find that they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking's in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin' for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you've see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze
There's no killer app I haven't run (run)
At Pascal, well I'm number one (one)
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (what?)
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
Here's the part I sing on...
You see me roll on my Segway
I know in my heart they think I'm
White and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy
I'd like to roll with the gangstas
Although it's apparent I'm too
White and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
How'd I get so white and nerdy
I been browsin', inspectin' X-Men comics
You know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L
I got a business doing websites (websites)
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for 'em all
Even made a homepage for my dog, yo
I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin' a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a role of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me gettin' freaky
I'm nerdy in the extreme
Whiter than sour cream
I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
Got my name on my underwear
They see me strollin', they're laughin'
And rollin' their eyes cause I'm so
White and nerdy
Just because I'm white and nerdy
Just because I'm white and nerdy
All because I'm white and nerdy
Holy cow, I'm white and nerdy
I wanna bowl with the gangstas
But oh well, it's obvious I'm
White and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy
------------------------------------
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize shes very plain
But thats just perfect for an amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning Im milkin cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and jacob plows... fool
And Ive been milkin and plowin so long that
Even ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
Im a man of the land, Im into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight were gonna party like its 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
Ive churned butter once or twice
Living in an amish paradise
Its hard work and sacrifice
Living in an amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really dont care, in fact I wish him well
cause Ill be laughing my head off when hes burning in hell
But I aint never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An amish with a tude?
You know thats unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, youll be bored to tears
We havent even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we aint really quaint, so please dont point and stare
Were just technologically impaired
Theres no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like robinson caruso
Its as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
Were just plain and simple guys
Living in an amish paradise
Theres no time for sin and vice
Living in an amish paradise
We dont fight, we all play nice
Living in an amish paradise
Hitchin up the buggy, churnin lots of butter
Raised a barn on monday, soon Ill raise anutter
Think youre really righteous?
Think youre pure in heart?
Well, I know Im a million time as humble as thou art
Im the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin points for the afterlife
So dont be vain and dont be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
Were all crazy mennonites
Living in an amish paradise
Theres no cops or traffic lights
Living in an amish paradise
But youd probably think it bites
Living in an amish paradise
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!
------------------------------------------------------
I sued Taco Bell
'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas
And I got fat!
I sued Panasonic
They never said I shouldn't use their microwave
To dry off my cat
Huh, I sued Earthlink
'Cause I called them up
N' they had the nerve to put me on hold
I sued Starbucks
'Cause I spilled a Frappucino in my lap
And brrr, it was cold!
I sued Toys'R'Us
'Cause I swallowed a Nerf ball
And nearly choked to death
Ugh, I sued PetCo
'Cause I ate a bag of kitty litter
And now I got bad breath!
I sued Coca-Cola, yo
'Cause I put my finger down in a bottle
And it got stuck!
I sued Delta Airlines
'Cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey
I went there, and it sucked!
Yeah!!!
If you stand me up on a date
If you deliver my pizza 30 seconds late
I'm gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah that's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah I might even sue you!
Ugh!!
I sued Duracell
They never told me not to shove that double-A
Right up my nose
I sued Home Depot
'Cause they sold me a hammer
Which they knew I might drop on my toes
I sued Dell Computers
'Cause I took a bath with my laptop
Now it doesn't work
I sued Fruit of the Loom
'Cause when I wear their tightie-whities on my head
I look like a jerk
I sued Verizon
'Cause I get all depressed
Any time my cell phone is roaming
I sued Colorado
'Cause you know, I think it looks a little bit too much
Like Wyoming
I sued Neiman Marcus
'Cause they put up their Christmas decorations
Way out of season
I sued Ben Affleck
--
Aw, do I even need a reason?
Ugh!
If I sprain my ankle
While I'm robbing your place
If I hurt my knuckles
When I punch you in the face
I'm gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah that's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, that's right I'm gonna sue you
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
I'll sue ya!
I'll take all of your money
I'll sue ya!
If you even look at me funny
I'll sue ya!
I'll take all of your money
I'll sue ya!
If you even look at me funny
I'll sue ya!
I'll take all of your money
I'll sue ya!
If you even look at me funny
I'll sue ya!
I'll take all of your money
I'll sue ya!
If you even look at me funny
I'll sue ya!
Ha-ha ha ha-haa
I'll sue ya!
What'chall think of that?
I'll sue ya!
Ha-ha ha ha-haa
Boo ya!
I'll sue ya!
Ugh!
------------------------------------
Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
We wanna give you a warning
'Cause I found out this morning
About a dangerous, insidious computer virus
If you should get it, an email with the subject, 'stinky cheese'
Better off protecting your chances
Under no circumstances, should you open it
Or else it will
Translate your documents into Swahili
Make your TV record "Gigli"
Neuter your pets, and give you laundry static cling
Look out!
It's gonna make your computer screen freeze
Look out!
Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs
Look out!
Erase your hard drive and your backups too
And the hard drive of anyone related to you
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls
It'll make your keyboard all sticky
Give your poodle a hickey
And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney
Then, it will tie up your phone, making prank long-distance calls
It'll set your clocks back an hour and start clogging the shower
So just trash it now, or else it will
Decide to give you a permanent wedgie,
Legally change your name to Reggie,
Even mess up the pH balance in your pool
Look out!
It's gonna melt your face right off your skull
Look out!
And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull
Look out!
And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep
Look out!
And make you physically attracted to sheep
Look out!
Steal your identity and your credit card
Look out!
Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards
Look out!
Then cause a major rift in time and space
And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place
That's right it's a
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born
So before it emails your grandmother all of your porn
Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down
Drop it in a forty-three-foot hole in the ground
Bury it completely; rocks and boulders should be fine
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were alive!
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know!
Hit send right now!
--------------------------------------------------